The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F Chapter 5

The Book in Iii Sentences

Finding something important and meaningful in your life is the well-nigh productive use of your fourth dimension and free energy. This is true because every life has issues associated with it and finding meaning in your life volition aid you sustain the try needed to overcome the particular problems you face. Thus, we tin can say that the key to living a good life is non giving a fuck about more things, but rather, giving a fuck but nearly the things that align with your personal values.

The Subtle Fine art of Not Giving a F*ck summary

This is my book summary of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. My notes are breezy and ofttimes contain quotes from the book also as my ain thoughts. This summary as well includes central lessons and important passages from the book.

• Conventional cocky-aid advice which tells you to visualize success and think about the type of person y'all want to exist merely reinforces the thought that you lot are not that thing.
• Everyone wants you lot to believe that the hush-hush to a skillful life is to have a nicer job or a better motorcar or a prettier girlfriend.
• The central to a good life is not giving a fuck almost more; information technology'due south giving a fuck well-nigh less, giving a fuck about only what is true and immediate and important.
• Nosotros are no longer facing a cloth crisis. We have plenty of resource: TVs and clothes and appurtenances that nosotros don't demand. The problem nosotros confront is existential and spiritual. We have and then much stuff and and then many opportunities that nosotros don't know what to give a fuck well-nigh anymore.
• Because at that place's an space amount of things nosotros can now see or know, there are also an space number of ways we can detect that we don't measure out up, that we're not good enough, that things aren't as great as they could be.
• The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of ane's negative experience is itself a positive experience.
• Pursuing something simply reinforces that you lot lack it in the get-go identify.
• Accepting your feel of life as being great and wonderful is the unmarried greatest thing you can practise for your happiness.
• "You will never be happy if you lot continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if yous are looking for the pregnant of life." -Albert Camus
• Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
• If you are able to not give a fuck about the pain your goals require, then y'all become unstoppable.
• The moments when we don't requite a fuck and accept activity are often the moments that most define the course of our lives.
• Y'all are going to die someday. Everyone you know is going to dice soon. And in your brusque life you just take a sure amount of fucks to give.
• Learning how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively based on finely honed personal values is perhaps the greatest and most important struggle in life.
• Subtlety #one: Not giving a fuck is non about existence indifferent. It just means yous're comfy with being different. Don't say fuck it to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.
• Subtlety #2: To not give a fuck nearly adversity, you must get-go care about something more than important than adversity.
• Subtlety #iii: Whether you lot realize information technology or not, you are ever choosing what to give a fuck about. The primal is to gradually prune the things you lot care most, and then that you lot only requite a fuck on the most of import of occasions.
• When a person has no problems, the listen automatically finds a mode to invent some.
• I remember what most people — especially educated, pampered middle-grade white people — consider "life problems" are really just side effects of not having annihilation more important to worry virtually.
• Finding something of import and meaningful in your life is possibly the most productive use of your time and energy.
• It'due south okay for things to suck some of the fourth dimension.
• Practical enlightenment is the act of becoming comfortable with the idea that some suffering is always inevitable.
• There is no value in suffering when it is done without purpose.
• Don't promise for a life without problems. Hope for a life with good problems.
• Problems never stop. They merely get exchanged or upgraded.
• Happiness is found in solving bug, not avoiding them.
• True happiness occurs only when yous find the problems y'all enjoy having and enjoy solving. Happiness is wanting the problems you take and wanting to solve them.
• Emotions are only biological signals designed to nudge you in the management of beneficial alter.
• Negative emotions are a sign that something is going unaddressed. They are a phone call to action. Positive emotions are the advantage for taking the correct action.
• Nosotros should question our emotions considering they are not e'er right.
• Don't ask yourself what you want out of life. Information technology's easy to desire success and fame and happiness and dandy sexual activity. Everybody wants those things. A much more interesting question to ask yourself is, "What kind of pain do I desire?" What yous are willing to struggle for is a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.
• Yous can't simply be in love with the result. Everybody loves the result. You have to love the procedure.
• The climb to the top is a never-ending upwardly screw with new problems always surfacing and new processes that you lot must autumn in dearest with. You are never allowed to end climbing considering the entire signal is to dear the climb. If y'all ever terminate loving the climb, the results will never come up.
• Self-esteem, by itself, is overrated. It doesn't help to feel adept about yourself unless yous accept a skilful reason for feeling that manner. The struggle makes cocky-esteem useful, non the participation bays.
• Your problems are not privileged in their severity or pain. You are non unique in your suffering.
• The more exposed we are to opposing viewpoints, the more than we seem to get upset that those other viewpoints exist. This seems like a logical tendency to me because earlier the cyberspace and our hyper-connected modernistic earth, people didn't have as much likelihood of running into ideas that disagreed with their own. Today, alternating ideas are far more likely to cross your radar screen.
• Virtually of us are pretty average at most things we do. Even if you lot're exceptional at one matter, chances are you're average or beneath average at most other things.
• Our lives today are filled with information from the extremes of the bell curve of human experience. The best of the best, worst of the worst, and most upsetting of the upsetting. Nosotros only see the most exceptional news stories because that's what drives acquirement. This is a real problem when it comes to comparison because you can only exist infrequent in ane thing affair and you lot're going to be below average in nearly everything else. That makes comparison a very dangerous game to play.
• The trouble is that the pervasiveness of engineering science and mass marketing is screwing up a lot of people'southward expectations for themselves.
• Ane of the most pervasive narratives nigh masculinity in our civilisation is that the most valuable thing a homo can attain is sex and it's worth sacrificing virtually anything to go it. (Interestingly, this corresponds to ane of the dominant female narratives, which is that the greatest thing a woman can exist is beautiful.)
• People who are exceptional become that fashion by thinking they are boilerplate and focusing on improvement. You don't become infrequent by believing you are exceptional.
• The more than uncomfortable the answer, the more than likely it is to exist true.
• Problems are inevitable, but what they hateful is flexible. We go to control what our issues mean to us based on how we choose to think about them and how we choose to measure them. The way nosotros measure out success influences how we view the problems we face up.
• "Pleasure is a fake god. Research shows that people who focus their energy on superficial pleasures end up more anxious, more emotionally unstable, and more depressed. Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest to obtain and the easiest to lose."
• People who base of operations their self-worth on being right about everything foreclose themselves from learning from their mistakes.
• "Ane day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike y'all as the most cute." -Sigmund Freud
• People who are terrified of what others retrieve nearly them are actually terrified of all the negative things they recollect about themselves existence reflected back at them.
• When we feel that we're choosing our problems, we feel empowered. When we feel that our problems are existence forced upon us against our will, we experience victimized and miserable.
• We don't always control what happens to us. Just nosotros always control how we interpret what happens to usa, equally well equally how nosotros answer.
• Accepting responsibleness for our problems is the kickoff step to solving them.
• A lot of people hesitate to accept responsibility for their problems because they believe that to be responsible for your problems is also to be at fault for your issues. This is not true. Nosotros are responsible for experiences that aren't our fault all the fourth dimension. This is part of life.
• People will often fight over who gets to exist responsible for successful and happiness. Simply taking responsibility for our problems is far more than important because that'due south where real learning comes from.
• Growth is an incessantly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don't go from "wrong" to "right." Rather, nosotros go from wrong to slightly less wrong. Nosotros shouldn't seek to find the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, simply rather, nosotros should seek to chip away at the ways that we're wrong today so that we can exist a petty less wrong tomorrow.
• Certainty is the enemy of growth.
• All beliefs are wrong—some are only less wrong than others.
• Counterintuitive insight by Baumeister regarding evil: some of the worst criminals often felt expert almost themselves. Low cocky-esteem was not always associated with evil acts.
• The more y'all endeavor to become certain well-nigh a particular issue, the more uncertain and insecure you will experience.
• The more you embrace being uncertain and not knowing, the more comfortable you will experience in knowing what yous don't know.
• The man who believes he knows everything learns zip.
• Manson'due south Law of Avoidance: The more than something threatens your identity, the more than you lot volition avoid it. The more something threatens how you lot view yourself, the more than you will avoid getting around to doing it.
• If I believe I'yard a nice guy, I'll avert situations that could potentially contradict that belief. If I believe I'thousand an awesome cook, I'll seek out opportunities to prove that to myself over and over once again. The belief always takes precedence.
• Manson'south idea of "impale yourself" is similar to Paul Graham'south idea of "go along your identity pocket-size." The central bespeak is that if you lot don't have an identity to protect, then change becomes much easier.
• For any change to happen in your life, you must have that you were incorrect about something you lot were doing before.
• "It is the mark of an educated heed to be able to entertain a thought without accepting information technology." -Aristotle
• If it feels like it's you versus the globe, chances are it'south really merely you versus yourself.
• The magnitude of your success is tied to how many times you've failed at that thing.
• Goals are limited in the corporeality of happiness they tin can provide in our lives because they are finite. In one case you attain the goal, it can no longer provide happiness because the finish line has been crossed. Paradoxically, and then, by choosing processes every bit your focus, you can increase your overall, lifelong happiness by focusing on the process and not the goal. Processes never end, which means happiness can continue indefinitely.
• Action isn't just the outcome of motivation; it'southward also the crusade of information technology. Do something and inspiration will follow.
• How do you write a tons of books? Write "200 crappy words per day" and you'll find motivation often flows out of y'all.
• Manson's "do something" principle sounds a lot like the philosophy backside the ii-minute rule. Do something at present, even if it's really small, and let good deportment pour equally a result.
• To truly appreciate something, you lot must confine yourself to it. In that location's a sure level of joy and meaning that yous achieve in life but when yous've spent decades investing in a unmarried relationship, a single craft, a single career. And you cannot reach those decades of investment without rejecting the alternatives.
• The mark of an unhealthy relationship is when two people attempt to solve each other's issues in guild to feel good almost themselves.
• Trust is the most of import ingredient in any relationship for the simple reason that without trust the relationship doesn't actually hateful anything.
• Investing deeply in i person, one identify, one chore, one activity might deny us the breadth of experience nosotros'd like, but pursuing a breadth of feel denies us the opportunity to enjoy the rewards of depth of experience.
• Commitment, in its ain way, offers a wealth of opportunity and experiences that would never otherwise exist bachelor to you, no matter how many surface level experiences you lot pursued.
• Rejection of alternatives liberates us. In a strange way, commitment to i thing offers more freedom than anything else because information technology relieves you lot of all the second guessing about what else is out there.
• If there is no reason to practice anything, if life is pointless, and then there is also no reason to not exercise anything. What do you have to lose? Y'all're going to die anyway, then your fears and embarrassments and failures don't mean anything. You might as well effort.
• All of the significant in our life is shaped past our innate desire to never truly die. Our physical bodies volition die, only nosotros cling to the idea that nosotros tin can live on through religion, politics, sports, art, and technological innovation.
• The only way to be comfortable with death is to sympathize and see yourself as something bigger than yourself, to contribute to some much larger entity.
• It is the act of choosing your values and living by them that makes you great, non any outcome or accomplishment.
• "We're all going to die, all of us. What a circus! That alone should brand u.s.a. beloved each other, simply it doesn't." -Charles Bukowski

Reading Suggestions

This is a list of authors, books, and concepts mentioned in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, which might be useful for time to come reading.

• The Denial of Expiry by Ernest Becker

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson

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Source: https://jamesclear.com/book-summaries/the-subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fck

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